The Empire Writes Back About the Failed Death Star Petition 90
It appears that it isn't just fans who took notice of the failed White House petition to build a Death Star. Star Wars Blog has an official response from the Galactic Empire which reads in part: "IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT – The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. 'It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,' said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. 'Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.'”
D'uh (Score:1)
'Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.”
What are the key differences between Bush, Obama and Palpatine?
Re:D'uh (Score:5, Funny)
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Clones.
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What are the key differences between Bush, Obama and Palpatine?
Space-time coordinates.
Re:D'uh (Score:4, Funny)
Palpatine wields the power of the Force. The others are just sociopathic assholes with normal human abilities.
Executive Order (Score:3)
By executive order, all personal property and assets are now the property of the Empire, and these assets shall be used to build this Death Star.
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What are the key differences between Bush, Obama and Palpatine?
One of them is fictional.
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Re:D'uh (Score:4, Funny)
Palpatine was involved in fewer wars?
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You sir, owe me a new keyboard...
Misfiled (Score:5, Funny)
This entry was posted on January 15, 2013 at 9:00 am and is filed under In Pop Culture.
Should be refiled under Imperial Politics, Interstellar News, Diplomacy, or something similar.
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This is one of the stupidest stories I have read; not even worthy of slightly retarded 12 years olds.
Goddammit. My mod points expired a few minutes ago ;-)
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Don't worry, I got this!
HEY! It's going the wrong way! That was insightful, not a troll. Well, OK, it was a little trollish, but very insightful.
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So, too sophisticated for about 50% of the Slashdot audience then.
Emperor Palpatine? (Score:1)
He just retired a couple of weeks ago...
Re:Emperor Palpatine? (Score:4, Insightful)
Actually, it was a long time ago.
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Nope, 3rd of January, this year
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I've never understood it.
Now you kids get the hell off of his lawn!
Re:Yawn. (Score:5, Informative)
That's a terrible age to be a grumpy old man.
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I'll never understand people who post to a topic on Slashdot complaining that the topic bores them. The internet is a big thing, if you aren't interested in what you read here, then go somewhere else.
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If it doesn't suit your sense of humor, then don't pay any attention. I'll never understand people who post to a topic on Slashdot complaining that the topic bores them. The internet is a big thing, if you aren't interested in what you read here, then go somewhere else.
Oh, come on. If slashdot started posting loads of anti-Linux stories, or daily posts about the NFL or Kim Kardashian, everyone would (quite rightly) be in an uproar.
People come to slashdot, or any other website, in large part because of what it doesn't post.
If I want poetry criticism or local traffic news, I go to the relevant websites.
Having said that, there are bound to be some stories you're not interested in on any site. Unfortunately, anything to do with Star Wars seems to be (a) acceptable as s
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Dumb nerd jokes about dumb nerd movies aren't funny.
Does anyone *genuinely* think this sort of thing is entertaining, or do people just get into referencing "nerdy" pop culture shit because "that's what us nerds do"? I've never understood it.
Wait, I've heard that in some movie...
Unfortunately (Score:1)
Unfortunately Disney's article already used all the clever star wars references that could possibly be applied, leaving slashdot commenters with nothing to do but rehash them.
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Oh look, another dumbass who doesn't know that congress is responsible for the "budget".
Oh look, another dumbass who doesn't know that Palpatine dissolved the congress [wikia.com] so he is infact responsible for the "budget".
"The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I've just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away."
-Wilhuff Tarkin
I find your lack of faith disturbing (Score:4, Funny)
since the President doesn't have that power to begin with.
Why?
Cause his birth certificate does not mention his midi-chlorian count?
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First of all, the man hasn't strayed from a solid black ensemble in 40 years. Then there's the whole argument for physical balance - if I had a nickle for every time I saw a Sith (minus Maul, his balance was impeccable) wobble, fall or hell - fail to decide to attack anddefend in a fight... Then there's that whole thing where they lean completely to one side of the force which I don't think I have to tell you...
You know what? I need to balance m
Re:Palpatine was better... (Score:4, Insightful)
...he probably knew how to balance the budget.
Doubtful. Not only was the Death Star a huge budgetary drain, but he blew away a whole planet of taxpayers, causing a further drain on the Galactic Economy.
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Not to mention Gungans.
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Naboo surely?
Why is this an article? (Score:2, Insightful)
While it's fun to pretend, most of us know that this really isn't an official response from the Empire, since the Empire is a fictional organization. What it is is a single post from a single blogger.
Why is Slashdot running an article which consists of "this one blogger posted a message on a blog about some geeky topic"?
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" since the Empire is a fictional organization."
That's what they want you to think.
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They want you to think that that's what they want you to think.
Re:Why is this an article? (Score:5, Funny)
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
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Uhhh... Because that's what Slashdot does?
And good thing, too. Have you actually seen the (thankfully small amount of) Slashdot-generated content posted here?
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most of us know that this really isn't an official response from the Empire, since the Empire is a fictional organization
That's like posting on a Moshi Monsters site that Santa Claus isn't real.
is there a reference to Earth at all in Star Wars? (Score:3)
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There is something wearing an American flight suit in the Cantina scene. But you know how the sand people will buy any old junk the Ferengi pick up that fell through a wormhole backwards in time.
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Well, there's that Star Wars/Indiana Jones crossover comic... [wikia.com] it's officially non-canon, but several elements were referenced in later, canonical works.
Contracting (Score:2)
INTERGALACTIC COMMUNIQUE (Score:1)
To: Serak the Preparer
Subject: PUNY HUMANS!
Preparer;
I laughed with much glee at the attempts of the the puny humans to calculate the cost of this death star "super weapon". It surely could never rival the power of our star system destructo ray! Make sure Kang and Kodos have prepared the invasion fleets!
Be a Bieleber!
Emperor Justin
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away (Score:2)
It wasn't our galaxy! The Galactic Empire fell long before they could have managed to reach here.
Death Star must be registered... (Score:5, Insightful)
The Empire's Death Star qualifies under new Executive Orders issued today by the White House as an assult weapon. As such Grand Moff Tarkin is required to surrender possession within mandated timeframes and confirm registration on all other non-qualifying items in the Imperial armory. W. Tarkin and Anakin Skywalker aka D.Vader must also submit to a Universal Background Check.
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"Nothing in the executive orders changes definitions of assault weapons."
So, they are still defined as what ignorant people think look scary?
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Yep. And in New York City, the definition includes *HANDGUNS* with a magazine capacity above 7 rounds. :DOH!:
Building a Death Star is Rediculous (Score:2)
Rebuttal (Score:1)
-Your Supreme Lord Holiness, Darth Vader
Wave of the Hand (Score:1)
This is not the President you are looking for...