New Alexa Skill Plays Fake Stupid Arguments To Scare Off Burglars (techcrunch.com) 69
TechCrunch reports on a new Alexa skill called "Away Mode".
Instead of lights and noises, you can keep your home safe from unwanted visitors by playing lengthy audio tracks that sound like real -- and completely ridiculous -- conversations. When you launch Away Mode, Alexa will play one of seven audio tracks penned by comedy writers from SNL, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and UCB... These include gems like "Couple Has Breakup While Also Trying to Watch TV," "Two Average Guys Brainstorm What's Unique About Themselves So They Can Start a Podcast About It," "Emergency PTA Meeting To Discuss Memes, Fidget Spinners, and Other Teen Fads," and more. There are conversations from a book club where no one discusses the book, a mom walking her daughter through IKEA assembly over the phone, a stay-at-home mom losing her s***, and argument over a board game....
After enabling the skill on your Alexa device, you can cycle through the various conversations by saying "Next"... The tracks themselves are around an hour or so long... There are other "burglar deterrent" skills for Alexa if you're interested in the general concept, like that play fake house alarms or sound like guard dogs. But Away Mode is just a little more fun.
It's the brainchild of San Francisco-based Hippo Insurance, whose brand manager hopes to get people thinking about home security (though she says it isn't meant to be a serious security tool). Yet, "Theoretically it's a good idea," adds former California police chief Jim Bueermann (now the head of the nonprofit Police Foundation). "If this thing mimics real conversation, it's much more likely to trick the burglar into believing somebody is home."
In one fake argument, a board game player shouts "Hand me the rulebook! The other rulebook! That's the rules reference.... No, it's in the learn-to-play guide. That's the quick reference!"
After enabling the skill on your Alexa device, you can cycle through the various conversations by saying "Next"... The tracks themselves are around an hour or so long... There are other "burglar deterrent" skills for Alexa if you're interested in the general concept, like that play fake house alarms or sound like guard dogs. But Away Mode is just a little more fun.
It's the brainchild of San Francisco-based Hippo Insurance, whose brand manager hopes to get people thinking about home security (though she says it isn't meant to be a serious security tool). Yet, "Theoretically it's a good idea," adds former California police chief Jim Bueermann (now the head of the nonprofit Police Foundation). "If this thing mimics real conversation, it's much more likely to trick the burglar into believing somebody is home."
In one fake argument, a board game player shouts "Hand me the rulebook! The other rulebook! That's the rules reference.... No, it's in the learn-to-play guide. That's the quick reference!"
Home Alone? (Score:2)
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Oh, I've got my wife and daughter teaming up on me with "you're transphobic" and "there's no difference between boys and girls". I consider the mere existence of my daughter, and the fact that I didn't breast feed her despite several of her attempts in her infancy to move aside my shirt and latch on, to be good evidence there is a difference. I'm not sure she ever got over that rejection, it would explain a lot.
Book Club (Score:5, Funny)
”There are conversations from a book club where no one discusses the book”
I’m pretty sure I was a member of that book club a while back.
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This describes most of my graduate education.
This is great! (Score:4, Funny)
With Alexa playing a fake argument, the adjoined neighbors won't suspect anything is out of place when I accidentally knock over a lamp while I'm robbing the place! #DontForgetToStealAlexa ;)
Damn it. Missed opportunity. (Score:4, Funny)
Now I wish I had recorded all times I yelled and ranted at my Windows PC. Yes, I sometimes actually do this -- I'm sure we *all* do...
Re:Damn it. Missed opportunity. (Score:5, Funny)
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Over-complicated? (Score:2)
I don't have any figures to prove how effective it is, but the closest my grandparents have ever come to a break-in was one time somebody broke into their cellar space at the apartment complex they lived in at the time and stole some of my dad and uncl
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Grandma always used to say "don't forget to leave the lights on so the burglars can see what they are stealing!"
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If I set up a computer to generate a fake loud discussion. I would go for drunken hunter conversation and the best ways to clean a shotguns and handguns and reminders about unloading them prior to cleaning them and the importance of reloading them after you have finished, just in case you get the chance to shoot some trespasser, toss in a little drunken arguing and threats for spice ;D.
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A completely dark house with one of 7 prerecorded Alexa tracks is going to tell a burglar that no one is home and that you're a fucking moron.
...a moron with enough disposable income to fill their house with gadgets like an Alexa. Jackpot.
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The one necessary sound... (Score:3)
Play a recording of a Mossberg 12 gauge action being pumped.
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Play a recording of Walt Mossberg, reading one of his reviews... that should drive them away equally effectively.
If Alexa programmers are going to all that trouble (Score:2)
Why not just play recordings of a very large barking dog? or repeated gunshots?
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So what you're saying is that it indiscriminately targets black people...?
Man, we can't win with you guys - if we discriminate, you come down on us;
if we indiscriminate you come down on us too. Ya'll gotta make up yer minds...
Obligatory Python reference (Score:3)
Will it be an argument or just contradiction ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?... [youtube.com]
Step 1. Get a dog. (Score:4, Funny)
Step 2. Name the dog Alexa.
Problem solved.
Arguments don't scare off burglars (Score:2)
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Unforeseen consequences (Score:3)
Why? Because an inhabited house means there will be the person's wallet, possibly ID or passport, car keys and phone - and someone to tell the combination of a safe, if there is one.
Making believe there is someone there could increase burglaries.A better solution would be a convincingly large dog or two - or at least a good facsimile of one (rather than some of the pathetic commercial offerings). Add to the effect by leaving a dogfood bowl out front and maybe a Beware of the Dog sign (next to the NRA membership sticker!)
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NRA membership sticker? No one home but a dog or two? Sounds like easy guns to me! Let's break in!
Re:Unforeseen consequences (Score:5, Funny)
Wish I could give you mod points...
The only people in our circle of friends who’ve had their dwelling burglarized are gun owners. Actually, they *were* gun owners - and yes, the burglar did steal their guns.
Creationism (Score:2, Insightful)
was my first thought reading 'fake stupid arguments'. To scare of would-be atheist burglars, presumably.
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Re:Easy to figure out, now include AI (Score:4, Insightful)
Yeah, why doesn't this do that? It's supposed to be a smart device, so why doesn't it play audio, turn on the TV for a little while, turn on and off lights and do other things that it has control over?
At least, going by all the ads, that's what people do with them, so it seems a real "away mode" can simply simulate normal use of what already happens... why play fake lines without doing other stuff?
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Because it's a publicity stunt.
Real criminals would know about this and study the dialog so it is immediately recognized as Alexa, because they have stolen Alexas already. They will hand out CDs at their thief TED talks with the skits. Recognizing the voice actors is already in Thieving 101.
It's not effective because it isn't trying to be.
Encourages break-ins by police (Score:3)
Great! While this might possibly scare off a burglar, I think it's more likely to scare neighbors into thinking there's a domestic disturbance. Police arrive and pound on the door and the argument continues without anyone answering the door. What next? Police break down the door, find the whole fight is a recording, and then cite the homeowner for wasting police time. So you're out the cost of fixing the door, a fine, and your name on the police department's shitlist for pulling stunts that waste their time.
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Great! While this might possibly scare off a burglar, I think it's more likely to scare neighbors into thinking there's a domestic disturbance. Police arrive and pound on the door and the argument continues without anyone answering the door. What next? Police break down the door, find the whole fight is a recording, and then cite the homeowner for wasting police time. So you're out the cost of fixing the door, a fine, and your name on the police department's shitlist for pulling stunts that waste their time.
wouldn't they cite the person that called them for a non issue, This would be like swatting a house only when the occupent isn't home.
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Has this happened to any of those white people who've been trolling black people by calling 911 on them?
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Well, in the UK (let alone Germany) it'll get the local council issuing noise prevention orders.
Shit, I've had a neighbour complain about the sound of the fans in my computer. After I'd replaced the stock build ones with larger slower quieter ones and moved the computer away from the shared wall. When I asked the council what more I was meant to do their response was basically, "Sorry, we thought you were the issue. Clearly we were wrong; do nothing, we're going to call your neighbour."
or use a radio (Score:1)
Or you could just leave a radio on when away from home. Most potential burglers would assume that someone was home when they heard it. My family has done this for years (and never been robbed).
How do you use it while you are away? (Score:1)