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Florida Man Charged Over Failed Attempt To Cross Atlantic In Giant 'Hamster Wheel' (thedailybeast.com) 189

An anonymous reader quotes a report from The Daily Beast: A Florida marathoner is facing federal charges after the U.S. Coast Guard spotted him 70 nautical miles off Tybee Island, Georgia on Aug. 26, in a homemade Hydro Pod, as Hurricane Franklin bore down on the Eastern Seaboard. Reza Baluchi claimed he was headed to London in the human-powered vessel, a hamster wheel-like contraption which a newly filed criminal complaint describes as being "afloat as a result of wiring and buoys." When Coast Guard officers told Baluchi they were cutting short his "manifestly unsafe" voyage, Baluchi threatened to kill himself with a 12-inch knife if anyone tried to apprehend him, and claimed to have a bomb aboard, which turned out to be fake, according to the complaint. Three days later, Baluchi -- who authorities have intercepted in his Hydro Pod at least three times previously -- finally surrendered, the complaint states. Baluchi made national news for a 2021 attempt to get from Florida to New York in the Hydro Pod, but washed ashore 25 miles later.
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Florida Man Charged Over Failed Attempt To Cross Atlantic In Giant 'Hamster Wheel'

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  • Florida Man (Score:4, Funny)

    by battingly ( 5065477 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @10:44PM (#63826678)
    I don't know if this even makes the top ten craziest "Florida Man" stories this week.
    • by 93 Escort Wagon ( 326346 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @11:34PM (#63826742)

      I don't know if this even makes the top ten craziest "Florida Man" stories this week.

      If you exclude stories about one particular Florida Man, then the field becomes somewhat more open.

    • Re:Florida Man (Score:4, Interesting)

      by ShanghaiBill ( 739463 ) on Wednesday September 06, 2023 @12:56AM (#63826826)

      Florida has a very strong "sunshine law" that requires police to release information early and often. So men in other states are doing the same stupid stuff as Florida Man, you just don't hear about it.

      • Any time delay wouldn't really affect much, and doesn't make much logical sense.

        A bigger reason is the fact that Florida has a larger population than the 15 least populated states combined, and people often look closer at absolute numbers without correcting for the population size.

        All states release this stuff, all states have reporters that report on this stuff, and all states have been around for 64+ years.

        If other states had the same amount and frequency, than like Florida you would still see a steady st

        • Re:Florida Man (Score:5, Insightful)

          by ShanghaiBill ( 739463 ) on Wednesday September 06, 2023 @03:07AM (#63826974)

          Any time delay wouldn't really affect much

          Actually, it does. If it just happened today, it's news. If it happened three weeks ago, it isn't, so it's less likely to be reported.

          Also, a delay allows more details to come out and often means it wasn't as stupid as first believed, or maybe a false accusation, or maybe sorted out in some other way that makes it a much less interesting story.

        • by j-beda ( 85386 )

          Any time delay wouldn't really affect much, and doesn't make much logical sense.

          It isn't just the delay, it is the release of data at all. Florida police departments have websites where all arrests are listed, and even email lists where reporters get the daily list of new arrests. Getting any information from police many other states is difficult, and reportedly in Florida the data is not just available for the asking, it is actively disseminated.

          https://www.tcpalm.com/story/o... [tcpalm.com]
          Why is 'Florida Man' a thing, when 'Pennsylvania Man' (or Iowa Man or Ohio Man) isn't?
          Gil Smart
          March 25, 201

    • Re:Florida Man (Score:4, Informative)

      by Anubis IV ( 1279820 ) on Wednesday September 06, 2023 @02:32AM (#63826932)

      His Wikipedia page also seems to suggest that he’s actually a resident of California, not Florida. His test runs with this “hydro pod” were to Catalina island and back on the Pacific coast, and they mention him training for a few years in Death Valley, in addition to running from one side of the US to the other, Forrest Gump style.

    • Well, it's certainly not as bad as shooting school children. The USA is the world's Florida.
    • I don't know if this even makes the top ten craziest "Florida Man" stories this week.

      I've never been able to get into the "let's make fun of the obviously mentally ill" stories.

      Sure, they are newsworthy (or can be), but the whole laughing tone thing just grates the wrong way.

    • IIRC from either here or maybe fark.com that someone did a study a few years back and "Florida man" is actually "Ohio man" if you wanna get into crazy stuff.

      That said, as a Florida man I can say that yeah.... we got some crazy boys down here....

  • I mean, it's clear how it floats and how the occupant propels it, but how does one steer? Is there navigation equipment on board? How much food, water, etc. can it store? How does the occupant use the bathroom?

    Probably there aren't any good answers to these questions since the occupant appears to be a loon, but I'm curious.

    • by dgatwood ( 11270 )

      I mean, it's clear how it floats and how the occupant propels it, but how does one steer?

      I'm imagining Wonder Wheel [youtube.com] from The Toy, in which case you'd steer by moving opposite sides at a different rate, I guess.

      Is there navigation equipment on board? How much food, water, etc. can it store? How does the occupant use the bathroom?

      If what I'm imagining is accurate, that would be none on all counts, but that's just a guess. :-)

      • I mean, it's clear how it floats and how the occupant propels it, but how does one steer?

        I'm imagining Wonder Wheel [youtube.com] from The Toy, in which case you'd steer by moving opposite sides at a different rate, I guess.

        I don't think that would be possible with either the Wonder Wheel or this pod; the sides are always going to move together. But I suppose that if you shifted your weight to one end of the pod you would cause that side to sink more and the other side to sink less, which would alter the number of paddles in the water at each end, giving you more thrust on the side your weight is on.

        Is there navigation equipment on board? How much food, water, etc. can it store? How does the occupant use the bathroom?

        If what I'm imagining is accurate, that would be none on all counts, but that's just a guess. :-)

        Yeah. I'd like to see an interview that answers these questions, rather than guess, though.

  • Come on (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Hecubas ( 21451 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @10:59PM (#63826700)

    If he's already given this a go a few times already, just let him try it. Maybe he just needs some corporate sponsorship, Red Bull or something. Dude could live stream it and probably go viral.

    I mean, we already let plenty of people get into extreme sports all over the world and some of them die doing what they love. Let's see what this guy's got.

    • Re:Come on (Score:4, Interesting)

      by imidan ( 559239 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @11:23PM (#63826730)
      Yes, clearly if you are rich enough, you can build and deploy a death-trap submersible; why not a death-trap floating hamster ball? Actually, it sounds like it cost a lot less to collect this guy than to sieve the remains of the sub people off the ocean floor, so he's doing even better.
      • And in either case I wonder, why bother?

        • by Slayer ( 6656 )

          Because we're humans, and most of us do not think "oh, it's fun to watch these stupid people die". This "superhero" paddled for miles and miles in nice, calm water, but would have quickly called for an emergency rescue operation once the first 10ft wave would have toppled his contraption.

          • by Meneth ( 872868 )
            Did you see the photos [twitter.com]? The thing is a cylinder. It self-rights. Worst case, he falls on his head or breaks a leg... which might require a rescue, yes.
            • by Slayer ( 6656 )

              Waves that high have unbelievable force. If the Atlantic was easily navigable in small ships, it would have been crossed routinely thousands of years ago.

              • by tragedy ( 27079 )

                To be fair, many archaeologists are pretty sure that it actually was crossed multiple times, if not routinely, in small boats thousands of years ago. Sure, not very safely and with a high rate of having to resort to things like cannibalism.

                • by Slayer ( 6656 )

                  Question is: did anyone ever make it back to tell the story?

                  • by tragedy ( 27079 )

                    Well, Irish monks who sailed the Atlantic in ox-hide boats more than a thousand years ago came back to tell the tale. It's hard to tell where they actually made it to though. It's believed they may have made it all the way to Newfoundland. In any case we know that Vikings made it to Newfoundland a thousand years ago and came back to tell the tale.

      • by Slayer ( 6656 )

        The idiot with his hodgepodge sub skillfully skipped around all applicable laws to make his disaster happen. He registered in the Bahamas, i.e. he sailed under some flag, in which many laws to protect people do not exist. He called his passengers "mission specialists" in order to avoid the better protections for passengers.

        Had he started off like the paddle dude, the coast guards would have stopped him just the same.

      • by tragedy ( 27079 )

        People do things like trying to swim the Atlantic. Even with a pacer boat, that seems even more dangerous, but the coast guard doesn't stop them. People also set out to sea in all sorts of other things that seem no more reckless than this without the same kinds of problems. I know it was 70+ years ago, but the Kon-Tiki comes to mind. It just sort of seems like this is a double standard.

  • Again? (Score:5, Informative)

    by TwistedGreen ( 80055 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @11:03PM (#63826702)

    Google the guy's name, and you'll find out he been at this for years. He's been intercepted multiple times in attempts to reach Puerto Rico, Bermuda, and New York, and has threatened suicide before and was under a "Captain of the Port Order" to not repeat the stunt without a support vessel. This may explain the Coast Guard's frustration.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... [wikipedia.org]

  • Items to note. (Score:5, Informative)

    by will_die ( 586523 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @11:06PM (#63826706) Homepage
    The USA and international law recognize sovernty up to 12 nautical miles. Any thing you due there that is illegal in the USA you can be prosecuted.
    then up to 24 nautical miles is another zone where the country can protect rights and you can be prosecuted for most crimes.
    then out to 200 nautical miles is an economic exclusive zone where the USA has very little legal control its purpose is for conserving, exploring, managing or exploiting natural resources This is the reason china is building those islands and then trying to enforce sovrenty on. In this case they coast guard can still board the vessel and also require that certain safety equipment is equiped and those are the charges this marathoner is now facing after he refused those actions. jurisdiction out to 200 nautical miles (370 kilometers), he was at 70 nautical miles.
  • Is spending the money to arrest, trial, and convict this serial lunatic that is questionably breaking any laws worth anything to anyone; or is it just the rich that can create suicidal watercraft without getting arrested while the common lunatic is ground down by the man?
  • by 93 Escort Wagon ( 326346 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @11:39PM (#63826746)

    But if you're not harming someone else, don't you have the right to take stupid risks? Maybe have a pre-signed waiver on file directing that no search and rescue attempt should be made if you get into trouble or disappear.

    • I agree with you, but this guy must be mentally disturbed, going out there without a support vessel (and threatening suicide).
    • But if you're not harming someone else

      The US Coastguard has specifically said he should do this with a support vessel. That US Coastguard is responsible for search and rescue when things go wrong. He's not in trouble for being stupid, he's in trouble for ignoring a direct "Captain of the Port Order" - which is a federal crime.

      Just like you're free to be an idiot, run out on the street and try and commit suicide by getting hit by a car, but if you ignore a police request to get your stupid arse off the highway you'll be in trouble.

  • I thought this was AMERICA.

    • Apparently, the deep state polices the deep ocean.

  • by sinkskinkshrieks ( 6952954 ) on Wednesday September 06, 2023 @12:56AM (#63826830)
    The embarrassing part isn't someone who lacks a firm grasp on naval safety or self preservation from the elements, it's the lack of care and treatment for such individuals.
  • by HotNeedleOfInquiry ( 598897 ) on Wednesday September 06, 2023 @01:17AM (#63826864)
    Photo of the watercraft:
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E7EKVleWEAcDXQV?format=jpg&name=large
  • freedumb (Score:4, Insightful)

    by fluffernutter ( 1411889 ) on Wednesday September 06, 2023 @06:32AM (#63827210)
    Why are Americans so opposed to any government authority protecting people from themselves? Is the country so cold that you will just stand by and watch someone die instead of intervening? Freedom is not healthy for people with mental illness.
    • by GlennC ( 96879 )

      Why are Americans so opposed to any government authority protecting people from themselves?

      Because their definition of "freedumb" is "I get to do whatever I want and don't have to face any consequences for my actions."

    • Is the country so cold...

      I see you've never visited Minnesota in January.

      ... that you will just stand by and watch someone die instead of intervening?

      Oh. No, we provide shelters, clothes, coats, boots, and food for them here.

    • by ceoyoyo ( 59147 )

      The US is only a hundred years away from having significant frontier areas and people who immigrated there specifically because of that, so there's a national zeitgeist that values independence and self-sufficiency. Also, cold war ideology emphasized that national myth versus the socialism and central planning of their opponents.

  • Strap some custom-made guns on there and then say your 2nd Amendment rights are being curtailed when they try to stop you again.
    • It's illegal for American non-military vessels to be armed. Your crew can be armed, but not your vessel. If the gun is mounted, it's illegal.

  • Attempting to cross the ocean in a hamster ball is quite wholesome.
  • Somebody THAT determined to win a Darwin Award should be allowed to earn the posthumus honor.

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